Friday, September 24, 2004

At Last! A Hero!

I had been despairing of ever finding a hero to write about, when along came Ingersoll-Rand, the parent company of Kryptonite bike locks. Actually, this story almost became a villainous one, but wise heads prevailed and now we can proclaim the company to officially be "good guys."

Here's the background:

Someone, somewhere, discovered that the world-renowned design of Kryptonite "U" locks could be compromised with the shaft of an ordinary ballpoint pen. (The lock style in question is the round type, not the flat type.) News spread like wildfire among bicycle enthusiasts, both on-line and off.

Ingersoll-Rand quickly acknowledged the problem, which was a good first step. However, they then punted by saying only locks bought after a certain date would be eligible for replacement. That would have left people like me and my husband out of luck -- we've got three bikes locked up with Kryptonites that were purchased quite some time ago. Why should the decision to replace the locks be based on date of purchase? A compromised lock is a compromised lock, which also means a missing bike.

Well, someone, hopefully someone from the PR department, convinced TPTB that the replacement policy was resulting in bad press and bad feelings. I know we were considering buying locks from a different manufacturer, and I doubt we were alone. Anyway, Kryptonite has announced that anyone with an affected lock can get a replacement for free.

Yay!

I'm pleased on two fronts -- one, that Kryptonite (and Ingersoll-Rand) did the right thing, and two, that I finally have a hero to report!


Saturday, September 04, 2004

That wacky GOP

In today's installment, we take a fond look back at the recently-concluded GOP convention, where the themes of motherhood, apple pie and democracy were lovingly explored and a gentle case was made for why the Republicans should be in charge of the White House for four more years.

Oh wait, that was the dream I had the other night.

The actual convention was a picture of what hell must be like. The snippets I watched had to be viewed with hands over eyes, since they reminded me of the scariest horror movies I watched as a child. So today's villain is none other than the GOP itself, to use a metaphor.

In the Republican world view presented over the past few days, the picture was clearly painted:

If John Kerry wins in November, we must all run for our lives! He and his saber- and bludgeon-wielding Democratic fire-breathing minions will be running through the land, killing and maiming and snatching babies from the arms of their wailing mothers. Actually, in the Republican world view, the Democrats shouldn't even be fielding a candidate in the election. The Dems should just politely cede the election to Bush and whimper away, tails tucked beneath their legs.

Conservative legend Barry Goldwater once said that "extremism in the defense of liberty is no vice," and all the speakers at the GOP convention seemed to think this meant them.

To this moderate Democrat, the spectacle was horrifying and chilling.

But the absolute low-light of the whole proceedings had to be the much-talked-about screed of erstwhile Democrat Zell Miller, who was on such a self-righteous high after his evisceration of all things Democrat that he actually challenged "Hardball" anchor Chris Matthews to a duel. As GOP saint John McCain said on "The Daily Show," John Kerry must have shot his dog to be so angry.

In the final analysis, the whole smear campaign mounted by the convention speakers and delegates made me sad -- sad for the level of discourse in our country, sad for those who truly believe their extremism is blessed and anointed from above, and sad that our once-honorable political process has been sullied by those who believe character assassination is the mission they have been handed down from God.

Many on the right have evoked the image of the late Lee Atwater, the man responsible for the "Willie Horton" attack ads, among others of the smear campaign ilk. Well, before he died, Atwater disavowed his actions and expressed regret for the style of campaigning he perfected. But the Republican meanies have forgotten that part of the story.

Is it too late to turn this sinking ship around, Mr. Miller, to use another metaphor? For the sake of our country, I hope not, but I fear it is.

Tuesday, August 10, 2004

Ooh Ooh that Smell

Our first entry in the world of blogging contains not only heroes and villains, but a bit of the absurd as well. And although this particular story takes place in my adopted hometown of Chicago, our desire is for the reach of this blog to be global, so expect future dispatches to come from all over.

But I digress. On to our story, which contains these elements:

A picture-perfect day on Lake Michigan.

A crowd of tourists and natives enjoying a leisurely cruise on Chicago's Little Lady tour boat.

And then -- horrors! A shower of, well, nasty "gunk" rains down on the innocent passengers from a bridge above the boat.

No one will come out and say it, but the stench and color of the viscous junk could only be one thing -- a deposit from a tour bus potty.

Are you holding your nose yet? A writer from the Chicago Tribune who happened to be on the boat reported that people were retching right and left around him during the episode.

So, in keeping with the theme of this blog, who are our heroes and villains?

Our heroes are the operators of the cruise ship, who beat a hasty retreat to shore and refunded everyone's money. Employees also provided paper towels so that people could endeavor to clean up a bit.

But who is the villain of this piece? We don't know yet, as no one will 'fess up. One bus driver, who works for rocker Dave Matthews, denies that it was his bus that let fly with the noxious substance, even though someone reported that bus as being at the scene.

For now, then, our villain will go unnamed in this smelly tale.

However, I do hope we won't have to name other villains, like people who sue the tour boat operators for damages and emotional distress.

For more on this story, read Brett McNeil's firsthand account here:

http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/local/chi-040810waste,1,762212.story?coll=chi-homepagepromo451-fea